I am who I am because of who raised me. My parents have done something I can only hope to accomplish a part of. They have been married for 45 years. But it's not about being married for 45 years that's the story, it's the fact that they've been best friends for 45 years....at least that is the impression I have. As I lie here in bed with my boy out of town, I realize how important it is to share your life with someone you consider to be your best friend. For the past 5 days I've been wandering around aimlessly looking for my proverbial left arm because he's out of town.
I remember when I was little....my mom would be in her bathroom combing her hair and putting on some lipstick. Us kids would say 'mom, where you going?' She would reply with, 'no where, you dad's coming home' . And you know what......my dad always came home....Because he liked to, and my mom liked him to.
Very cool. And I am very thankful that in my later years I have been lucky enough to have found the same thing in my partner as my my mom found in hers so many years ago.
And I hope all of my children get to experience what I have been lucky enough to experience.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Your Daughter will Never Walk Again
It's hard to believe that 3 years ago today I was told that my daughter would never walk again.
In the beginning that phrase echoed in my head for months and months, over and over. Now, 3 years later, I never think of it at all.It's not about what she can't do anymore, but more about what she can do.
She works, goes to school, goes camping, boating, to Vegas....just because your legs don't work anymore doesn't mean you can't LIVE. I may not have believed or felt that 3 years ago but it's clear as a bell now.
Someone once said to me, "What God would do that to a young girl". My response was, "Thank God he let my daughter stay with me."
In the beginning that phrase echoed in my head for months and months, over and over. Now, 3 years later, I never think of it at all.It's not about what she can't do anymore, but more about what she can do.
She works, goes to school, goes camping, boating, to Vegas....just because your legs don't work anymore doesn't mean you can't LIVE. I may not have believed or felt that 3 years ago but it's clear as a bell now.
Someone once said to me, "What God would do that to a young girl". My response was, "Thank God he let my daughter stay with me."
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The baby
It amazes me that so little time has passed, yet it seems like a lifetime ago. One day it's complete chaos and unknown and the next it's " Hi hon, how was your day, mommy loves you'.
It's sureal.
Life has continued for all of us, we've learned, changed, adapted, changed - did I say that already? One day fighting for her life and the next day her and her sis flying out to see mom for Christmas. OK, well not so much 'one day to the next' but sometimes it feels like it.
It's a warm evening and I'm sitting on my deck planning the girls visit for a week in July. Not only are they coming to see mom for a week but they're going to hang out at an outdoor concert for a few days on their way home!! My two beautiful girls....
I can't even imagine what my baby went through (and still does to some extent) during all of this. She is such a vivacious, bright, funny, witty girl. Her older brother has had a lot of attention because from time to time he can be a disaster and now her older sister has this happen to her. My baby girl has been a joy to raise (not saying the others weren't) but she has made good choices, gone on to further education, works three jobs sometimes and yet everyone else gets all the attention.
She deserves more attention, and praise, for being the strong willed, independent, tenderhearted daughter and sister that she is. I wish I had a sister like her. Hug you when you need it, listen when you have shit to say, and tell you you're full of shit when you are, but at the end of the day loves you more than anything.
To my baby girls, Mommy loves you.
It's sureal.
Life has continued for all of us, we've learned, changed, adapted, changed - did I say that already? One day fighting for her life and the next day her and her sis flying out to see mom for Christmas. OK, well not so much 'one day to the next' but sometimes it feels like it.
It's a warm evening and I'm sitting on my deck planning the girls visit for a week in July. Not only are they coming to see mom for a week but they're going to hang out at an outdoor concert for a few days on their way home!! My two beautiful girls....
I can't even imagine what my baby went through (and still does to some extent) during all of this. She is such a vivacious, bright, funny, witty girl. Her older brother has had a lot of attention because from time to time he can be a disaster and now her older sister has this happen to her. My baby girl has been a joy to raise (not saying the others weren't) but she has made good choices, gone on to further education, works three jobs sometimes and yet everyone else gets all the attention.
She deserves more attention, and praise, for being the strong willed, independent, tenderhearted daughter and sister that she is. I wish I had a sister like her. Hug you when you need it, listen when you have shit to say, and tell you you're full of shit when you are, but at the end of the day loves you more than anything.
To my baby girls, Mommy loves you.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The importance of Joe, Jim and Molly
Before I start I want to be clear that the list of important people is long, very long but this post is about a special 3 and 2 of them were a part of my every day life for 8 months.
I was living in Victoria at the time of the accident, and I had a spouse until the day he put me on a plane by myself with no money and no access to any. I felt like I was being sent into the lions den to fight a bunch of lions with no support. My mom and I were always at odds over something or another and I was sure she was going to find a way to blame me, my daughters father and I barely spoke in the 18 years we'd been divorced, my sister - well I'm sure you read how she delivered the news to me, and I was scared. I didn't know how I was going to survive, eat, where I was going to sleep, I didn't have my vehicle, I was confused, and sad, and angry and scared beyond belief.....thankfully the boys and Miss Molly saved me.
It's no secret that I've know Joe for about 10 years. Over the years I had met his very good friend Jim 3....maybe 4 times. What I knew about Jim was that he was a red-neck type, golf nut, beer drinking, tough guy, tender engough to raise his daughter all by himself. I guess it would have been the day after I arrived in Edmonton that I got a call from Jim. He lives in Edmonton but happened to be in Kelowna golfing with Joe. First, he let me talk to Joe for a long time, and then he got back on the phone and said 'You will stay with me and Molly. My neighbour has a spare key, here's the address, I'll be home in a week, make yourself comfortable, and no - don't argue, the house is only 10 minutes from the hospital.' That was literally the END of the conversation.
So that's how Jim and I became roommates and quite frankly, a family of sorts. I hadn't seen Molly since she was about 5 (she was 14 at this point) and I'd only met her once for one evening but we bonded instantly. I lived with them for all those months and he never charged me a bit of rent, argued when I bought some groceries, cooked me meals, made me laugh and took care of me for a long time. He said he did it becuase if Joe loved me, he did too. I will love Jim to pieces for ever. Looking back at the state I was in I honestly don't know what I would have done or where I would be today if it hadn't been for Jim. I owe him more that I could ever find ways to repay. (Although he says if I come back and teach Molly to drive we'll be even;) The best part is my daughters very first outing from the rehab hospital was to Jim's for dinner. It was a blast and a story I'll tell another time.
I was living in Victoria at the time of the accident, and I had a spouse until the day he put me on a plane by myself with no money and no access to any. I felt like I was being sent into the lions den to fight a bunch of lions with no support. My mom and I were always at odds over something or another and I was sure she was going to find a way to blame me, my daughters father and I barely spoke in the 18 years we'd been divorced, my sister - well I'm sure you read how she delivered the news to me, and I was scared. I didn't know how I was going to survive, eat, where I was going to sleep, I didn't have my vehicle, I was confused, and sad, and angry and scared beyond belief.....thankfully the boys and Miss Molly saved me.
It's no secret that I've know Joe for about 10 years. Over the years I had met his very good friend Jim 3....maybe 4 times. What I knew about Jim was that he was a red-neck type, golf nut, beer drinking, tough guy, tender engough to raise his daughter all by himself. I guess it would have been the day after I arrived in Edmonton that I got a call from Jim. He lives in Edmonton but happened to be in Kelowna golfing with Joe. First, he let me talk to Joe for a long time, and then he got back on the phone and said 'You will stay with me and Molly. My neighbour has a spare key, here's the address, I'll be home in a week, make yourself comfortable, and no - don't argue, the house is only 10 minutes from the hospital.' That was literally the END of the conversation.
So that's how Jim and I became roommates and quite frankly, a family of sorts. I hadn't seen Molly since she was about 5 (she was 14 at this point) and I'd only met her once for one evening but we bonded instantly. I lived with them for all those months and he never charged me a bit of rent, argued when I bought some groceries, cooked me meals, made me laugh and took care of me for a long time. He said he did it becuase if Joe loved me, he did too. I will love Jim to pieces for ever. Looking back at the state I was in I honestly don't know what I would have done or where I would be today if it hadn't been for Jim. I owe him more that I could ever find ways to repay. (Although he says if I come back and teach Molly to drive we'll be even;) The best part is my daughters very first outing from the rehab hospital was to Jim's for dinner. It was a blast and a story I'll tell another time.
Monday, January 9, 2012
2 years later
It's been 2 years since I've looked at this and almost forgot about it but in case someone should come across it I should update it and let you know where we are today.
This past Christmas, 2 years and 2 months since the accident my 2 daughters, one of whom is now what they call and incomplete quadriplegic, flew from Alberta to BC to spend Christmas with us. Me, Joe and his two boys. Other than my son being unable to make it it was the perfect Christmas. One that I have enjoyed more than any other in many, many years.
As for what really happened the night of the accident, only my daughter knows and a few of the friends that were with her but she has yet to speak about it with me. All I really know is they were at a party and a truck drug her down a gravel driveway. Maybe she doesn't really remember and maybe a big part of it is the legal side, I don't know but I'm sure she'll tell me when she's ready.
She broke her neck and her back which required 2 surgeries. The first one - her neck - they went in from the front, took out the disc that was causing the pressure and replaced it with a piece of bone from her hip. Apparently it will fuse and act somewhat like the disc. They put a little titanium in there sewed her up and flipped her over. The second surgery for the broken back required a titanium rod being inserted down her spine. Miraculously, she was sitting fairly upright the next day. Amazing really. Not like years ago when you were strapped to a board for months and months before even being able to start rehab. She was a fighter and a trouper through the whole thing. She is very lucky that she does not require a breathing tube but she simply refused to keep it in, she was going to breath on her own!
An incomplete quad means that she does have the use of her arms but one had doesn't work all too well and the other one she can open and close but not squeeze. The upper paralysis is on the inside, she doesn't cough well, throwing up is something she had to learn to do, and the muscles in her abdomen/chest don't work - however - she lives independently with some nurse help when required. She is taking finance in college and lives a pretty full life. Her and her 21 year old sister have become the best of friends. They live in the same building. She is strong and healthy and beautiful. All of my children are.
Next time I'll tell the story of the bikini wax in the hospital. And her first night out of the hospital at Jim's house. Believe it or not there are some entertaining stories in the mix of the tragic ones. We've come a long way.
This past Christmas, 2 years and 2 months since the accident my 2 daughters, one of whom is now what they call and incomplete quadriplegic, flew from Alberta to BC to spend Christmas with us. Me, Joe and his two boys. Other than my son being unable to make it it was the perfect Christmas. One that I have enjoyed more than any other in many, many years.
As for what really happened the night of the accident, only my daughter knows and a few of the friends that were with her but she has yet to speak about it with me. All I really know is they were at a party and a truck drug her down a gravel driveway. Maybe she doesn't really remember and maybe a big part of it is the legal side, I don't know but I'm sure she'll tell me when she's ready.
She broke her neck and her back which required 2 surgeries. The first one - her neck - they went in from the front, took out the disc that was causing the pressure and replaced it with a piece of bone from her hip. Apparently it will fuse and act somewhat like the disc. They put a little titanium in there sewed her up and flipped her over. The second surgery for the broken back required a titanium rod being inserted down her spine. Miraculously, she was sitting fairly upright the next day. Amazing really. Not like years ago when you were strapped to a board for months and months before even being able to start rehab. She was a fighter and a trouper through the whole thing. She is very lucky that she does not require a breathing tube but she simply refused to keep it in, she was going to breath on her own!
An incomplete quad means that she does have the use of her arms but one had doesn't work all too well and the other one she can open and close but not squeeze. The upper paralysis is on the inside, she doesn't cough well, throwing up is something she had to learn to do, and the muscles in her abdomen/chest don't work - however - she lives independently with some nurse help when required. She is taking finance in college and lives a pretty full life. Her and her 21 year old sister have become the best of friends. They live in the same building. She is strong and healthy and beautiful. All of my children are.
Next time I'll tell the story of the bikini wax in the hospital. And her first night out of the hospital at Jim's house. Believe it or not there are some entertaining stories in the mix of the tragic ones. We've come a long way.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The airport - 2 hours later
I've managed, with Danean's help, to get some sort of bag packed. To be honest I don't even know what's in it. I've thrown on the same clothes from the night before... I don't remember a lot. I remember very clearly wondering how to turn of the tears, they just keep coming, even when I'm not crying, there are tears, rivers and rivers of tears. I remember thinking there was a vice grip around my chest, it was closed so tight I couldn't breath. Short shallow gasps most of the time.
We get to the airport, get me checked in and say goodbye. I've managed to stop the tears for a moment. Hug Ian, Hug Danean, and as she holds me tight I melt in to her arms and cry and tell her, 'I never thought either of us would have to do it but I need you to make that call'.
I love Danean, from the first moment we met in college we were inseparable. It was an odd mix really, I was married with 3 little children and she was young and carefree. But over the last 15 or so years we have seen each other through the highest high's and the lowest lows. This was definitely the lowest of the lows. I can't help but wonder what power in the universe made it so that she was with me when I needed her the most. It was only planned a few days in advance. And the night before we were talking about the phone calls we hoped we would never have to make for each other. To the one to the person that we each kept tucked away but never forgot.
The Airport is fairly quiet, I've said goodbye's and I'm going through security. As I said, I am not crying so to speak, but the tears just won't stop running in rivers. You remember the strangest things, and I remember the security lady touching my arm and handling me a box of kleenex with a look on her face that says she understands that something terrible is happening.
I'm sitting as far away from the crowd as possible, trying everything in my power to control myself - not doing very well at it - when a woman that has been walking around in circles comes to me and says, I think you need a hug. So she did, and then rambled on about 'The Word' blah blah, and I'm thinking to myself, don't get me started, I am not really happy with God right now.
I let everyone board before me and as I am in line to walk on the plan a man says to me, 'You must have had to say goodbye to someone awefully special', I briefly explain the situation and he proceeds to tell me that he just went through the same thing with his son, broken neck, broken back, that the U of A hospital is the best...... I wonder again, why is a man that has just gone through the same sort of thing that I am going through on the same plane as I am, and what possessed me to tell him what was happening. To give me hope?
He's not a puddle so maybe if the river of tears stopped for him, the river of tears will stop for me one day?
I get to Calgary and have a wait until my flight to Edmonton, I phone Andre. He was my daughters step dad for a long time and they had a close relationship and have always stayed in touch. I know he would want to know. What a message to have to leave on Thanskgiving. I know he called me back, he was going to come and get me from the Calgary airport and drive me to Ednomonton. But the flight was boarding so he came to the hospital a few days later. I also phone Michele, one of my other dearest friends in Red Deer, again - what a message to have to leave on Thanksgiving.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity I arrive at the Edmonton airport I have told everyone that I am renting a car, I need a car, for what purpose really I have no idea, in my condition driving should be the last thing I'm doing. I don't even know where the hospital is, but I need my own car, I can't be trapped. Dependent. I don't know what I was thinking. I check my VM and Michele has called telling me that she is out front waiting for me. OK maybe I don't need a car quite yet. As I'm coming out or the arrivals area to the baggage claim I am looking a 3 people standing there and I think to myself, wow, that looks just like my brother and sister and tanya and I turn to get my bags, and then these people start calling my name and I realize it IS them. I explain that Michele is outside waiting for me and that I will have to go tell her to meet us there, they tell me to go with her and get to the hospital as fast as I can and they will stay behind and get my bag. I run. Michele knows exactly where she is going because she too has had crisis in her life that required time spent at the U of A hospital. My Mom calls, the hospital and surgeons have been waiting for me to get there before they send her to surgery but they can't wait much longer. Michele drops me off at the entrance to the hospital and I run, I run as fast as I can - I see my mom at the end of the hallway waving and yelling 'Hurry, hurry!' And I run. We get to the ICU doors and I stop, try to catch my breath and at this moment I know I need to stop the tears. Big breath, go, go see my baby.
I walk into her room and her face is scraped and bruised and there is a horrible halo screwed into her head to keep her stable. I kiss her and say 'It's ok, mommy's here'. I walk out to the hall a few minutes later and colapse.
We get to the airport, get me checked in and say goodbye. I've managed to stop the tears for a moment. Hug Ian, Hug Danean, and as she holds me tight I melt in to her arms and cry and tell her, 'I never thought either of us would have to do it but I need you to make that call'.
I love Danean, from the first moment we met in college we were inseparable. It was an odd mix really, I was married with 3 little children and she was young and carefree. But over the last 15 or so years we have seen each other through the highest high's and the lowest lows. This was definitely the lowest of the lows. I can't help but wonder what power in the universe made it so that she was with me when I needed her the most. It was only planned a few days in advance. And the night before we were talking about the phone calls we hoped we would never have to make for each other. To the one to the person that we each kept tucked away but never forgot.
The Airport is fairly quiet, I've said goodbye's and I'm going through security. As I said, I am not crying so to speak, but the tears just won't stop running in rivers. You remember the strangest things, and I remember the security lady touching my arm and handling me a box of kleenex with a look on her face that says she understands that something terrible is happening.
I'm sitting as far away from the crowd as possible, trying everything in my power to control myself - not doing very well at it - when a woman that has been walking around in circles comes to me and says, I think you need a hug. So she did, and then rambled on about 'The Word' blah blah, and I'm thinking to myself, don't get me started, I am not really happy with God right now.
I let everyone board before me and as I am in line to walk on the plan a man says to me, 'You must have had to say goodbye to someone awefully special', I briefly explain the situation and he proceeds to tell me that he just went through the same thing with his son, broken neck, broken back, that the U of A hospital is the best...... I wonder again, why is a man that has just gone through the same sort of thing that I am going through on the same plane as I am, and what possessed me to tell him what was happening. To give me hope?
He's not a puddle so maybe if the river of tears stopped for him, the river of tears will stop for me one day?
I get to Calgary and have a wait until my flight to Edmonton, I phone Andre. He was my daughters step dad for a long time and they had a close relationship and have always stayed in touch. I know he would want to know. What a message to have to leave on Thanskgiving. I know he called me back, he was going to come and get me from the Calgary airport and drive me to Ednomonton. But the flight was boarding so he came to the hospital a few days later. I also phone Michele, one of my other dearest friends in Red Deer, again - what a message to have to leave on Thanksgiving.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity I arrive at the Edmonton airport I have told everyone that I am renting a car, I need a car, for what purpose really I have no idea, in my condition driving should be the last thing I'm doing. I don't even know where the hospital is, but I need my own car, I can't be trapped. Dependent. I don't know what I was thinking. I check my VM and Michele has called telling me that she is out front waiting for me. OK maybe I don't need a car quite yet. As I'm coming out or the arrivals area to the baggage claim I am looking a 3 people standing there and I think to myself, wow, that looks just like my brother and sister and tanya and I turn to get my bags, and then these people start calling my name and I realize it IS them. I explain that Michele is outside waiting for me and that I will have to go tell her to meet us there, they tell me to go with her and get to the hospital as fast as I can and they will stay behind and get my bag. I run. Michele knows exactly where she is going because she too has had crisis in her life that required time spent at the U of A hospital. My Mom calls, the hospital and surgeons have been waiting for me to get there before they send her to surgery but they can't wait much longer. Michele drops me off at the entrance to the hospital and I run, I run as fast as I can - I see my mom at the end of the hallway waving and yelling 'Hurry, hurry!' And I run. We get to the ICU doors and I stop, try to catch my breath and at this moment I know I need to stop the tears. Big breath, go, go see my baby.
I walk into her room and her face is scraped and bruised and there is a horrible halo screwed into her head to keep her stable. I kiss her and say 'It's ok, mommy's here'. I walk out to the hall a few minutes later and colapse.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The day before
October 10, 209
My best friend is making the drive from Comox to Victoria to visit for a night. We haven't seen each other in a couple of months. A girls night in the making - she wants to go to the city for dinner. I've not been to the city for dinner since I've moved here. She arrives and we go for dinner downtown and in a restaurant that seats 1800 and wouldn't you know it her sister in law is across the way. I meet them, they are nice. Turns out they live half way between where we are at that m,oment and where my house is. The car is safely parked undergroung, we could leave it over night, have a great time, maybe a little dancing, and pretend like we're still in our 20's! Then we could all share a cab home, great idea!
No, yes, no, something is telling us we just need to go home.
We have spent the evening talking about the phone calls we hope to never have to make for each other. I have a number to call if she's ever in crisis and she had a phone number to call if I'm ever in crisis. We get home around 11 pm, pour a glass of wine, visit for a while and decide we need to go to bed. So we do.
6:00 AM - BANG! BANG! BANG!
What? What is that noise? Who is banging on the door in the dark?? What's hapening? Nobody we know would bang on the door, they would just come in, it's never locked.....but something must be wrong.
I throw my robe on, go to the door and see a man in uniform....is this a joke?
'Hello Ma'am I'm ........' I don't even remember his name I was so confused.
'Your sister has been trying to get a hold of you.......you need to call home.' But I am at home....
In a split second, and I mean a split second, the thoughts that go through your head are phenomenal. Oh My God, Martin, No, my dad.....Oh My God WHAT?
'She's ok, but your daughter has been in an accident, you need to call home.'
I call my mom's house and get my sister. 'Where have you been all night?' I'm confused because like most people I've been in bed all night. 'We've been trying to get a hold of you!'
I'm in a fog...I'm trying to explain how it's quite normal to be sleeping in the middle of the night....
Now I'm a little more aware - I say to her, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?'
'Well, your daughter has been run over by a truck and she will never walk again!'
What on earth have I done in my life to deserve getting such tragic news in such a cold hearted manner....
I hang up - thank God Danean is there, she takes over. The next couple of hours are a blur, all I really remember is saying, 'Get me on a plane...NOW!'
I throw a suitcase on the bed, I put a t-shirt and one running shoe in it and declare myself ready to go. Danean demands that I put the other shoe in and at least pack a pair of pants. Because she loves me she knows that at a moment like this I am not in a place to handle any of this.
I need to go.
To my office.
I need my laptop.
I need my phone charger.
I need to call Joe.
When we get back from my office, it dawns on me - daughter..accident.....daughter....WHICH daughter????
Danean makes another call to my parents house, and I can't even tell you what happened other than both of us were interrogated about our whereabouts ALL night.
It was night.
We were in bed.
Sleeping.
I haven't slept much in the last 2 months. I use to turn off all ringers, (cell phone, house phone) at night because made a decision years ago to not take work home with me and that nothing was so important that is couldn't wait until morning. Since October 11, I panic when a ringer is turned off 0r my phone is not fully charged, what if something happens....
Finally, there is a flight booked.....another story...... I'm on my way to Edmonton......She's having surgery......'Hurry' they say, the surgeons will wait as long as they can. My baby girl....hurry.
My best friend is making the drive from Comox to Victoria to visit for a night. We haven't seen each other in a couple of months. A girls night in the making - she wants to go to the city for dinner. I've not been to the city for dinner since I've moved here. She arrives and we go for dinner downtown and in a restaurant that seats 1800 and wouldn't you know it her sister in law is across the way. I meet them, they are nice. Turns out they live half way between where we are at that m,oment and where my house is. The car is safely parked undergroung, we could leave it over night, have a great time, maybe a little dancing, and pretend like we're still in our 20's! Then we could all share a cab home, great idea!
No, yes, no, something is telling us we just need to go home.
We have spent the evening talking about the phone calls we hope to never have to make for each other. I have a number to call if she's ever in crisis and she had a phone number to call if I'm ever in crisis. We get home around 11 pm, pour a glass of wine, visit for a while and decide we need to go to bed. So we do.
6:00 AM - BANG! BANG! BANG!
What? What is that noise? Who is banging on the door in the dark?? What's hapening? Nobody we know would bang on the door, they would just come in, it's never locked.....but something must be wrong.
I throw my robe on, go to the door and see a man in uniform....is this a joke?
'Hello Ma'am I'm ........' I don't even remember his name I was so confused.
'Your sister has been trying to get a hold of you.......you need to call home.' But I am at home....
In a split second, and I mean a split second, the thoughts that go through your head are phenomenal. Oh My God, Martin, No, my dad.....Oh My God WHAT?
'She's ok, but your daughter has been in an accident, you need to call home.'
I call my mom's house and get my sister. 'Where have you been all night?' I'm confused because like most people I've been in bed all night. 'We've been trying to get a hold of you!'
I'm in a fog...I'm trying to explain how it's quite normal to be sleeping in the middle of the night....
Now I'm a little more aware - I say to her, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?'
'Well, your daughter has been run over by a truck and she will never walk again!'
What on earth have I done in my life to deserve getting such tragic news in such a cold hearted manner....
I hang up - thank God Danean is there, she takes over. The next couple of hours are a blur, all I really remember is saying, 'Get me on a plane...NOW!'
I throw a suitcase on the bed, I put a t-shirt and one running shoe in it and declare myself ready to go. Danean demands that I put the other shoe in and at least pack a pair of pants. Because she loves me she knows that at a moment like this I am not in a place to handle any of this.
I need to go.
To my office.
I need my laptop.
I need my phone charger.
I need to call Joe.
When we get back from my office, it dawns on me - daughter..accident.....daughter....WHICH daughter????
Danean makes another call to my parents house, and I can't even tell you what happened other than both of us were interrogated about our whereabouts ALL night.
It was night.
We were in bed.
Sleeping.
I haven't slept much in the last 2 months. I use to turn off all ringers, (cell phone, house phone) at night because made a decision years ago to not take work home with me and that nothing was so important that is couldn't wait until morning. Since October 11, I panic when a ringer is turned off 0r my phone is not fully charged, what if something happens....
Finally, there is a flight booked.....another story...... I'm on my way to Edmonton......She's having surgery......'Hurry' they say, the surgeons will wait as long as they can. My baby girl....hurry.
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